June 2

Sick and tired

"We wanted an easy way out....  When we did seek help, we were only looking for the absence of pain."

Basic Text, p. 5

Something's not working.  In fact, something's been wrong for a long time, causing us pain and complicating our lives.  The problem is that, at any given moment, it always appears easier to continue bearing the pain of our defects than to submit to the total upheaval involved in changing the way we live.  We may long to be free of pain, but only rarely are we willing to do what's truly necessary to remove the source of pain from our lives.

Most of us didn't begin seeking recovery from addiction until we were "sick and tired of being tired and sick."  The same is true of the lingering character defects we've carried through our lives.  Only when we can't bear our shortcomings one moment longer, only when we know that the pain of change can't be as bad as the pain we're in today, are most of us willing to try something different.

Thankfully, the steps are always there, no matter what we're sick and tired of.  The irony is that, as soon as we make the decision to begin the Twelve Step process, we realize our fears of change were groundless.  The steps offer a gentle program of change, one step at a time.  No single step is so frightening that we can't work it, by itself.  As we apply the steps to our lives, we experience a change that frees us.

Just for today:  No matter what prevents me from living a full, happy life, I know the program can help me change, a step at a time.  I need not be afraid of the Twelve Steps.