April 7

Vulnerability Teaches Us to Trust

Page 102

"Each time we make ourselves vulnerable and find someone there for us, we come to a new level of safety and trust."

Living Clean, Chapter 5, "Fellowship"

Working Step Five with a sponsor can feel like baring our underbellies. We summon up enough honesty, humility, and courage to admit the exact nature of our wrongs. Despite our conviction that we're doing the right thing, sharing our inventories can make us feel exposed. Being vulnerable can be an unnatural state for addicts; it tears down our hardened defenses. Sharing our inventory is an act of trust. For many of us, this may be the first time we reveal ourselves completely to another human being.

Whether we have years clean or days, we find value in sharing our struggles and our victories with fellow members. Being real and sometimes raw creates opportunities for others to connect with us. Sharing from the heart simply resonates. We're often humbled by the kindness of our fellow members who support us when we are most vulnerable.

Each time we take a risk, open up, and are met with loving support from other members, we understand the strength in vulnerability on a deeper level. "I look at this kind of vulnerability as the emotional equivalent of a trust fall," one member shared. Each act of vulnerability enhances our feelings of safety in our relationships.

The more we practice connecting with other members, the more at home we feel in NA.

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I will challenge my old beliefs about trust. I will push myself out of my comfort zone to practice being vulnerable and allow other members the opportunity to be there for me.