October 28

Freedom, Wherever We Are

Page 311

"The ability to grow spiritually enables us to find freedom, even within the walls of a cell. Our greatest freedom is not outside ourselves but within."

Guiding Principles, Tradition Five, Opening Essay

Many addicts first hear our message of hope while incarcerated, often thanks to the hard work of our H&I trusted servants. One member shared, "When I got out, I heard someone share about a 'self-made prison,' and I was mad at first. They didn't know what it was like to be on the inside. But the more I came to meetings and heard addicts share about the disease, I realized that we had more in common than I thought. Just being out didn't mean I was free . . . yet."

Freedom comes in many forms. The ability to come and go freely as we wish, a right denied when or if we are incarcerated, is just one of those forms. We can experience mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom wherever we go--or wherever we stay. One member wrote, "I thought freedom meant doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, as long as I stayed clean. But I felt trapped by my impulses. I found it impossible to say no to myself, even when my behavior had consequences. When I told my sponsor I wanted to stop but didn't know how, they told me to sit with the impulse and see if I could learn something from it. I sat with it and didn't act on it, and I learned that I could survive the feeling. The feeling passed, and I felt light. I felt free."

The most obvious freedom we gain in recovery is physical--we gain freedom from our compulsive use of drugs. That physical freedom, that changed behavior, has a corresponding inner component--the peace of mind that comes with no longer being trapped in obsession and self-centeredness. We are free to think of something other than where our next fix is coming from. We are free to feel something other than despair. We are free.

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Wherever I am, whatever is going on around me, I will seek inner freedom by letting thoughts and feelings come and go without disturbing my peace, without throwing me off balance.