November 24

Hospitality Counters Self-Centeredness

Page 339

"Simply making eye contact or offering a hug to a newcomer can make all the difference to them--and to us."

Guiding Principles, Tradition Three, "Spiritual Principles"

To those of us accustomed to being unwelcome nuisances to family, friends, and others, the hospitality we encounter in NA can be both unexpected and unfamiliar. "People I used with stopped wanting me around even when I was willing to share my drugs," one member shared. "Talk about feeling like an outcast!"

That special welcome we felt as newcomers in NA inspires many of us to go out of our way to help other newcomers feel welcome. "When I was in early recovery, I asked my sponsor how to be a homegroup member," one addict wrote. "My sponsor told me I could start by making sure that no one new to the meeting ever leaves without being welcomed."

The act of welcoming others has a big impact on us, too. For people prone to self-centeredness, it's a great relief to put our own wants, needs, and feelings on the back burner long enough to concern ourselves with how others feel. Our sense of attention and concern expands, allowing us to notice who is around and what they might be feeling. As many of us have heard, we build self-esteem by doing esteemable things. We don't even need to do much to help anxious, scared, or alienated addicts begin to feel calm, safe, and welcome in NA--and doing so rewards us in ways we cannot measure.

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My feeling of connection and belonging in NA increases by leaps and bounds when I welcome others. I will go out of my way to make someone feel welcome today.